VollisWe all want to be happy and joyful. So why is it so often that we feel unsatisfactory and unhappy accompanied with negative emotions. Destructive criticism and lack of love in childhood awaken negative experiences in the little person from an early age. As you grow older, these emotions become stronger and provoke more and more bad feelings.
Most often, people experience fear, doubt, anxiety, envy, jealousy, hatred, hostility, a feeling of unfairness towards them, especially in comparison with the situation of others.
A person dominated by negative emotions is unable to think clearly and sensibly. The more intense the negative experiences, the more the suffering person breaks away from reality and loses the ability to reason rationally.
The top 5 reasons of negative emotions
1. Justifying yourself
2. Identification with oneself
3. Hypersensitivity
4. Condemnation
5. Rationalization
To get rid of negative emotions, you need to realize where they come from. Only in this way can you first slow down, and then get rid of them completely.
Justifying yourself
With excuses, you defend your negativism and your right to be angry. Negative emotions cannot exist if you do not find an excuse for yourself and those around you to experience them. The more you justify and convince yourself that the other person is bad, and you are pure and innocent, the more angry and upset you become.
Identifying with yourself
Self-identification is the attitude to take everything personally. You interpret what happened as an attack on you. If you cannot identify with a negative situation, it will be difficult for you to deal with any emotion, positive or negative, because of it.
Hypersensitivity
Oversensitive to the thoughts, opinions, or attitudes of others towards you. People who grew up in conditions of destructive criticism and a lack of love can develop a deep sense of inferiority, worthlessness. These feelings will manifest in the form of anxiety about how other people will react to them and their reactions and behavior. Such a person may even be depressed and suffer from it due to the fact that, it seems to him, someone thinks bad of him.
Condemnation
Judgment or tendency to negatively evaluate other people. If you treat others unfavorably, you will inevitably consider them to be guilty of something. This guilt becomes an excuse for anger, contempt, and negative feelings. By judging others, you put yourself in a higher position, thereby belittling others, which often causes negative reactions in people.
A person is angry only when he justifies the reasons for the words and actions of another person, for what he did or did not do.
Often we judge others because we don’t like something in ourselves, or we do it because we envy – their results or want to receive the same reward.
How to free yourself from the negative emotion of judgment
Instead of judging and blaming others, try to remain neutral. Just stay cool, don’t get emotionally attached to a particular person or situation.
The best way to learn to stop judging others is to start feeling sorry for them or empathizing with them. Use the principle of substitution to make you think about what makes you happy.
Rationalization
You resort to rationalization when you find a reasonable and acceptable explanation for your otherwise unacceptable actions. Due to low self-esteem and weakness, most people do not admit the thought that they have done or said something that is not entirely reasonable and justified. That they are innocent victims of some people, events or external circumstances.
Bury your negative experiences
It’s amazing how many people are unwilling to “bury” the negative experiences they have acquired in the past. They believe they have earned it, paid for it with their time, money and suffering. They are convinced they have a right to their pain. Deep in their hearts, they do not want to part with it.
Ask yourself two questions:
“Do you want to get rid of the negativity associated with a particular situation?” If the answer is “yes”, then “Do you want to get rid of it completely?”
Open your heart and let it go! Remember, no one makes you feel anything. Nobody drives you crazy. Nothing that happens to you has power over you. The only one who makes you experience anything is yourself, and it all depends on your assessment of the event.
All negative emotions boil down to anger
Sooner or later, all negative emotions come down to one thing – anger. Anger is the most powerful of negative emotions. All fears, doubts, jealousy, envy, and resentment eventually turn into anger, which is directed inward, which makes you feel bad both physically and mentally. Or it goes outward, destroying your relationships with other people.
Depression is an inward-directed anger. It is not able to honestly and openly express feelings about any reason.
Wrath is outward anger. Can take the form of verbal or physical aggression against other people.
The roots of anger
More often than not, you get angry because aggression has been committed against you, attack, hurt, or someone have taken advantage of without your knowledge. The worst thing is that the more actively a person expresses his anger, the stronger it becomes, flaring up like a forest fire. And the more angry a person feels, the more it hurts.
What makes people persist in their anger? The need for someone to admit that they have been harmed. Recognized and understood their pain. Demonstrating empathy can quickly calm an angry person down. When people feel that their pain is understood, they begin to heal.
Simple solution, effective antidote to negative emotions
Decide to take responsibility for yourself. Every time you feel angry or unhappy for any reason, repeat several times: “I am responsible for this!” until the negative emotion disappears. This amazing technique transforms the life of everyone who accepts it. According to the rule of substitution, our mind can hold in itself only one thought at a time – for example, a positive thought about personal responsibility or a negative thought about anger and condemnation. But never both at the same time. It is impossible to take responsibility and at the same time be angry about this situation. Taking responsibility on oneself negates all negative attitudes.
Many will say how can I take responsibility for those terrible things that another person has done to harm me? It would not be fair to take responsibility for what I am not responsible for.
You are able to control your reaction
You may not be responsible for what happened, you are responsible for your behavior after that. The reaction to an event is entirely in your control, and it is a matter of personal choice. You make yourself, angry or unhappy, by your choice of reaction to an unpleasant incident.
Remember, emotion distorts judgment. The very moment you get angry, blame someone for what happened, you lose the ability to think sanely and make intelligent decisions.
Start accepting this simple and effective technique right now, take responsibility for everything that happens to you and your life. Soon you will see how your life will be transformed and how you will free yourself from the power of negative emotions. You can become truly happy only through the awareness of control over your emotions and reactions.
Interesting article, there is something to think about and try to analyze own behavior.